Rediscovering Relationship: Reconnecting with the Father


Recently, I started attending a Mandarin church. For those who do not know me, my Chinese is quite poor. My reasons for learning Chinese are quite simple, but hard to put into words.
Simply put, I have this inexplicable urge to connect with my origin and in (re)discovering who I am. This may sounds weird, but I feel another part of me comes alive when I listen to or speak in Chinese.
As a Christian (and as an individual), my life journey has been a bit rough to say the least. Sometimes I want nothing to do with Christianity or God and have feelings of bitterness, anger, frustration and sorrow. Other times, I simply don't care. But deep down, there is a strong desire to reconnect with my Heavenly Father.

This is why I cannot ignore God as a figment of imagination or cultural conditioning. It is this relationship - and desire for relationship - that prevents me from abandoning my Christian faith, and ultimately, everything I once held dear. And yes, these desires and emotions could be byproducts of chemical reactions and social influences ... or, they could be very real and provide a glimpse of the human condition.

In any event, I cannot dismiss God's existence just as I cannot dismiss the existence of another person. Whether these people are real or not is a subject for the philosophers. To me, I cannot distinguish the emotions I have with "real" people and the emotions I have with God.

Where am I going with this?

In rediscovering relationship with God, I have found deeper intimacy with God in communicating in Chinese (in this case, Mandarin). My approach to learning Chinese has been to learn how to pray / sing in Chinese, read from the Chinese Bible and listen to Chinese sermons.

And as I learn to talk to God in Chinese, I will naturally learn to talk to others in Chinese. Likewise, as I rediscover and renew my relationship with God, I will relearn how to relate to others. In short, I am rediscovering love.

To close, here is a Chinese song, entitled "The Path of Grace", that I have been listening to recently. It has been a tremendous blessing to me. I hope it will serve to encourage you too :)


Lyrics:
Lord, You are my guide, the shepherd of my life
Through the hills and valleys, You're always by my side
Calling me by name, You've chosen me with love
Blessing me abundantly, Your promise will never change
Every step we take, You lead us with Your grace
Your love, Your hand will hold us close to you and will guide us through the path of grace

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