Running on Empty

Have you ever
... tried running long distances with no water or food?
... powered through your workday with no sleep?
... crammed for your exams eating virtually nothing or junk food?

You can only run on empty for a finite period of time. Today I am writing about my spiritual run. For those new to my blog, I am a Christian and my faith in Jesus Christ defines who I am and how I live. I am passionate about reaching my own God-given potential and helping others find theirs, be it in school, fitness, or in life.

Recently, I have been serving in campus ministry (CCF). With the school year ending, I have been reflecting on life after CCF. As silly as this sounds, I have been in the CCF community for the past 7 years (if you include my PEY year in Seattle). It is one thing to tell the fellowship that we need to take hold of the Cross. It is another thing to have it live in your everyday life. In the mundane and in the rush. In the big and in the small. To truly take hold of the Cross and to have that truth take hold of my life.

I return now to my "spiritual run". My spiritual run symbolizes my journey as a Christian. It also represents the development of my relationship with God. Lately, I have been feeling detached. Apathetic. Dry. Weary. I have been wondering if my faith the past year was simply a show, an act put on during my role as CCF's Chair.

I went this morning to Harvest Bible Chapel. I went in skeptical and judgmental, leaving unaffected -- or so I thought. Looking from the outside, I looked like a newcomer who wanted to be left alone. During the sermon, I just sat there, contemplating on leaving multiple times. I came with the worst attitude I could think of: indifference. And God, in His mercy, showed me again what He did for me 2000 years ago. The pastor talked straight from God's Word and the message cut me straight to my core.
"For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." -- Hebrews 4:12
All my defenses. My closed heart. My pride. The walls to my deepest emotions. All this could not defend against the sharpness of the words I heard from the Bible. The verse that was on repeat in my head was from 2 Corinthians 5:21,
"For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
This verse kept pounding in my head over and over again. God the Father ... made His one and only Son ... sin. He took our place. Jesus bore the suffering, the shame, the punishment ... of my sin ... and of everyone who would receive Him ... so that I can be in relationship with the Almighty God.

I deserve death. Despite this, I have been justified freely (Romans 3:24). And have been offered everlasting life.

I am continuing to discover what this truly means with each day. Some people just get it. For me, it is a journey of discovery and rediscovery ... like any relationship :)

Comments

Amanda said…
It takes a lot of courage to be share honestly both the strong and weak times in your faith journey but it means a lot to people who have or are going through similar experiences to see that they are not alone. Very reflective. Thanks for sharing :)
April 17, 2011 at 8:46:00 PM EDT
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