Who Am I?

Recently, I have been thinking about my identity. Who am I? What was I meant to be? What is my purpose? Do I have one? And if I do, how specific is it?

In "The Cure for the Common Life", Max Lucado talks about how we all have a God-given passion. Things that excite us and fill us with energy. What is my passion?

I have a personal dilemma. I grew up always wanting to be a medical doctor. This was my dream. Not my parents. Not society's. This was something I wanted. As time passed, life happened. Opportunities, financial constraints, and perhaps even a lack of focus and clarity of vision has led me to where I am now. I have an undergraduate degree in Engineering Science, specializing in Infrastructure Engineering. And now I'm en route to finish a Masters of Applied Science in Urban Transportation Planning from the Department of Civil Engineering. How I ended up here, I don't know. From medical doctor to transportation planner. Interesting, to say the least.

I still wonder about medicine. I volunteer at a hospital. I read through the MCAT books on occasion. And I read broadly. What I know for sure is that I cannot keep haphazardly trying different things. It's like not knowing which investment to choose and throwing a lot of money everywhere. Rather, I need to find that investment (or those few investments) by either doing my research or start by investing a bit in a lot. However, I won't gain any significant ROI simply by putting a bit randomly. A larger investment is needed. Similarly, if I want to succeed in anything (medicine, transportation, or whatever else), I need to be laser focused. I need to commit. During the holidays, I saw this quote that said something along the lines that commitment gives the foundation for endurance.

And this brings me to the subject of endurance. How does one endure? Endurance comes from a deep rooted commitment. And where does this commitment to a purpose comes from? I believe this comes from an understanding of your identity, of who you are, and what you were made to be. Knowing who you are is essential and provides the foundation for staying power. To have the endurance that keeps at it, nevertheless.

This morning, our family went to the Bridge, a local community church. Through the message, I found some hints to discovering who I am. The message was titled "Imagine a New Beginning". The four key points were:
- Forget
- Prepare (your hearts)
- Trust (God)
- Act

Maybe forgetting means forgetting the childhood dreams. Maybe forgetting means to leave behind the failures of the past. Or maybe it's simpler.

The pastor left us with the story of Joshua. He reminded us of God's provision for us. In Joshua 4, God commanded them to take 12 smooth stones from the river to remember what God has done. Maybe that's what I need. I need to remember that God is good. While I am confused, God's got my back.

Should I study to be a doctor? Should I keep studying transportation? These questions, while important, are not urgent. The more important and pressing question is this: Will I make the most of what I have? What you have is not as important as what you do with what you have. The answer is a resounding yes. And from there, I need to see what I have in front of me. And from there, I need to act - to make the most of what I have in front of me.

So if you're wondering about your identity, wondering what to do next, here are the key points that I'm working on in my life.
- Will I make the most of what I have in life?
- If yes, then what are the opportunities, gifts, talents, that God has blessed in front of me?
- How can I make the most of these things?

Comments? Thoughts? I'd love to hear about your stories. Post up or message me.